Never Forget
by Lilly Emerald
Summary: Elena looses her memories, and finds herself drawn more to Damon then to Stefan. With so many things to discover will she ever remember who she was and does she want to, or does she want to make a fresh start with Damon? AU
1. Chapter 1

I know, I know. Two stories in one go doesn't usually work but I just got this idea in my head and it won't leave. Let me know what you think and if I should continue or not. If you are going to add me to your favourites list pretty please let me know what you're thinking in a review. I love reviews lol! This won't be very long and it's an AU, starting from the episode where Jenna finds out the truth about everything.

Chapter One

"Elena?"

The voice was soft and calm, but very annoying in its persistence. It pierced through her distracted thoughts and even though they had been talking just moments before, she didn't want to talk now at all.

Everything was so confusing. She just wanted everything to stop spinning for a little while.

"Elena?"

She dragged her gaze away from the window, away from the pretty grounds of the building and turned to face Megan Winters. The woman was probably around her aunt Jenna's age. Very qualified and suitable for the job, Jenna had assured her. This woman was her psychiatrist. She had been going to see her twice a week for the last couple of weeks. It was easier now then it first had been.

"Elena, you need to stay focused here ok? I'm going to do my very best to help you get your memories back but you're going to have to help me too ok?"

She nodded silently, hoping that this was going to be over with soon. As far as she was concerned, they weren't making any progress and were just covering old ground that was all. All these questions weren't telling her the things that she needed to know. Like...who she was. What she liked. What music she liked or what movies or magazines. What clothes she liked to wear. It didn't tell her anything about her friends or her relationships with each of them. Caroline, Bonnie, Matt and Tyler had each come to the hospital after the accident, but she didn't know any of them and she had started to cry.

Jeremy she was told was her brother, and Stefan her boyfriend and Damon was...a friend of the family. But she didn't know anything, it was all a blank.

Her heart ached at the enormity of it all and she just wanted to be back to normal again.

Jenna hadn't let her see any of her friends since they had come to see her at the hospital. Too confusing for her, Jenna had said. She needed to rest and heal.

Her session was over with sooner then she thought, and she was told to come back again on Monday afternoon.

She walked out of the office and met up with Jenna who was going to take her home. That was all she did now these days. Come here and then go home.

"Jenna..." she didn't want to upset her aunt or anything, after everything she had done for her.

"Yes Elena? How was the session today, any progress?"

Elena shook her head and tried to ignore the disappointment in her aunt's eyes.

"I need to...I need to see my friends. I need to know things that only they could tell me. Why can't you let me see them?"

Jenna sighed and looked away from her. "Your friends are a...a bad influence that's all. Elena this is a chance for you to have a fresh start. I want you to get your memories back I really do. And I'm not trying to hide anything from you I just don't think that the truth is something you can handle right now. I just need for you to know who you are, rather than know about the dangers of the world and who your friends are first. Does that make any sense at all? I'm just looking out for you sweetie, you trust me don't you?"

Elena hesitated. Her aunt was hiding something. But she didn't want to make anything worse so she dropped the subject.

When they got home, someone was waiting by their front door, looking hurt and angry and concerned all at the same time. A name came to her mind. He had been someone at the hospital but was it Stefan or Damon?

Jenna stopped the car and got out, slamming the door behind her. "You can't be here Stefan. I want you to leave now."

"Jenna. I know you recently found out a lot of things that are confusing and that hurt you terribly," Stefan was saying earnestly. Elena hurried out of the car.

"What's going on? Why is...Stefan why are you here?"

"Jenna...you can't keep doing this. Elena has a right to know the truth."

"She will know the truth Stefan, but not now. We've both been through so much and she needs time to rest. So do I ok? And even if I told her everything that has been going on...would it let her know about her? Who she is? No it wouldn't. "

"But letting her spend time with people who care about her will help her do that Jenna. You never want her to know the truth because we would all tell her in an instant and you just want to run away from everything and pretend it's not happening. That's why you've hidden her diary."

"My diary? I wrote a diary? Jenna how could you do that?" Elena gasped in horror. A diary would be perfect in helping her.

"Jeremy must have told you," Jenna huffed, there were tears in her aunt's eyes.

"I'm just trying to..." she stopped again and looked at the hurt in Elena's eyes and then she sighed. "Fine. Fine...I'll get your diary. I'm sorry Elena. I don't know why I tried to hide the truth from you. Maybe it's because I can't deal with the truth myself," she turned to glare at Stefan.

"Now I want you to leave before you do any more damage!"

Stefan nodded, with one last look at Elena and then he disappeared in a flash like he had never been there. She blinked in surprise at how fast he could move. He was supposed to be her boyfriend but she had no connection to him at all! No memories of moments they had shared or anything. Maybe reading her diary would help her with that.

She hurried into the house with a mixture of feelings inside her. Feelings of excitement and nervousness. She was scared too. Because the way that Jenna was talking, there were things she maybe didn't want to know

TBC?


	2. Chapter 2

I'm so sorry for the long wait in an update! I have just finally finished sorting out the new house although there still so much to buy for it. but have finished unpacking now lol. I hope you all like this chapter. By the way...I don't hate Stefan. I feel kind of sorry for him sometimes when I read fics about Elena and Damon lol, because if I was single I wouldn't say no to either brother. And if i lived in fiction world lol. But anyway, be assured that all my fics will end up Elena/Damon, because I do like Damon alot. Can't wait to watch vampire diaries finale tonight!

Chapter two

Elena stared at the last page of her diary with wide eyes. It was the second or third time that she had read it, and she was no closer to any answers in her mind. Of course, it seemed that every word in that book was written by a crazy person. Apparently, she was in an epic romance with Stefan Salvatore. He was a vampire. He had been made into a vampire in 1864 by another vampire called Katherine. She was apparently Katherine's doppelganger and a very powerful, Original vampire named Klaus wanted to kill her. It sounded insane, and if her shrink ever read this she would be locked up in a split second!

How could any of this be real? But apparently it was real. Everyone was saying so who was in this house. Jenna and Jeremy . No wonder Jenna had wanted to hide all this from her for as long as possible! It was just...all crazy.

But it was definitely her handwriting. She had tested it by writing I'm going crazy on a blank page of her diary with today's date.

But it was just like when she had been told about the accident that had put her in all of this mess. The doctors had told her it had been a car accident. She had been driving home from the Salvatore's home and another car had hit her car. She must have been in an upset condition to not have seen the car, to not have tried avoiding it. But why had she been upset? Had she and Stefan had a fight? She didn't think that it had been Stefan. She had a sudden image of Damon in her mind but she didn't know why that would be. And she was suddenly sure it hadn't been a fight...more of a revelation, but now she would never know what that could have been. And from how the other Elena had described Damon Salvatore, he wouldn't reveal the information easily.

Reading her diary was just like finding out all of that. Because it was like it had happened to a different Elena. There were now two Elena's. There was the one who had had a life and the one who was now a blank canvas, waiting to find out who she really is. The girl she was now wasn't the one who everyone remembered. She was someone different and new, someone who they were all going to have to get used to now. Nothing was as it seemed...she knew that.

For instance, Stefan. When she looked at him she felt...nothing. And she knew it wasn't supposed to be that way. According to her diary, they were in the middle of a life or death situation and would die for each other and she...she didn't feel any of that. She had no memories of any of their time together to connect with that and it was scaring her so much. No memories of any of their dates, or secret whispered words.

The way that he looked at her...she wanted to be able to look back at him that way as well, but she just couldn't do it if she didn't know why she was supposed to. She didn't know him like he knew her. And that couldn't be a good thing.

She realised that she had to start right from the beginning if she wanted to find out who she was. Instead of looking at the end of things, like looking at diaries and photos and waiting to be allowed to hear people's stories, she had to investigate herself.

She closed the book and stood up abruptly and headed downstairs. Enough feeling sorry for herself. Enough being in denial like Jenna was. If she was really going to be in a life or death situation sometime soon...a sacrifice? Then she had to start looking after herself.

She walked into the kitchen, were Jenna was drinking a glass of wine and Jeremy was looking all broody. She now knew that they weren't truly blood related...another thing Jenna had kept from her to protect her.

"Ok. So I'm not the same girl anymore," she said loudly, making them both jump. "You're going to have to accept that, and that it's going to take time to get used to everything again. Sometimes you're not all going to like who I am or the decisions that I make because they are probably going to be different from what the old Elena did. But some of them might be the same. I just don't know.

But anyway, Jenna," she hesitated. Her aunt wasn't going to like this, but she was going to have to agree to her request. "I need you to drive me over to were Stefan and Damon live. And then to Bonnie and Caroline. I need you to drive me because I don't remember where they all live. And you're going to let me talk to them and then you're going to let me go back to school."

"Elena stop. You're not thinking about this," her aunt placed the glass of wine down. " You shouldn't be going anywhere...there's Klaus to consider. Since you read your diary I know you know about everything now."

"Yes, and here's something I know the old me would say to you. I have to continue to live my life. There may be a sacrifice about to happen and Klaus may be after me. But I can't keep hiding and being locked away! Even if I hadn't lost my memory I wouldn't be hiding I would be wanting to take the fight to him. And from my diary you have to trust in Stefan and Damon. They have been protecting me. Even though I probably wouldn't want protecting, I would want to protect myself, that's what they've been doing. And I need to...sort things out with Stefan. I need to sort everything out myself, with first hand experiences. That means seeing my friends. Getting back to normal."

"Fine," Jenna grumbled. "But for now I'm staying in the car. And you only have time for one or two friends tonight. And you're still going to see Megan Winters ok? I just didn't want you getting thrown back into the horror of it all so soon Elena. I was only trying not to get you hurt anymore."

Elena nodded with a smile. "I know Jenna. I know it's been a lot for you to take in. I still can't believe it's all real either. In fact...I still need to see with my own eyes that vampires are real."

Jeremy shook his head and sighed. "Trust me, they're real. And hey...that's not fair! I can never get her to agree with me that easily!"

...

I will always choose you Elena. Those had been the last words he had spoken to her. And now she would never know about it unless he told her...and even then would she even believe him? Probably not, if Stefan had anything to do with it.

It would be just like when he had told her he loved her, another thing she would never know about him. It cut him deep even though he wouldn't ever admit it. How could this happen? Right when he had been making progress with Elena, this had to happen!

He had to see her, he realised. He had to...do something. He had seen her once at the hospital and it was a scene that he hoped never to witness ever again. He had promised to always be there for her, but he hadn't been able to protect her from this nightmare.

He had to see her no matter what Jenna said. He knew that Jenna hadn't let Stefan near Elena either, but he had to change Jenna's mind somehow.

He turned to walk out of his front door, prepared to run into the night faster then any human eye could see. But just as he opened the door, he saw her just about to get out of Jenna's car and walk up his driveway. He must be seeing things right? But no...she was really here.

"Elena..." he whispered. She looked at him blankly.

"I'm Damon. Stefan's brother."

She nodded and he could practically see the thoughts racing through her mind. "Oh...yes. I think...you were at the hospital. It's all so blurry," she shrugged in an apology. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok."

"I read my diary," she announced suddenly, startling him.

"So you know everything."

"Yes."

"I take it you're here to see Stefan."

"Yes. I managed to persuade Jenna. I can see Stefan and you tonight and everyone else tomorrow."

"So kind of her."

Elena was confused at the hurt in his voice. "Damon I...are you mad at me for something? Because I really don't remember anything I might have done..."

"Elena Gilbert, I'm not mad at you I'm..." confused as hell, he wanted to say to her. You make me feel things I would never normally even...you make me feel things when I shouldn't be feeling anything. You make me hate you one minute and love you the next although I could never really hate you at all, ever. But he didn't say any of those things because he sensed his brother behind him.

"Elena," Stefan whispered. "I'm glad you're here."

Elena turned a smile towards Stefan...but Damon could sense her hesitation and confusion.

"Hello Stefan," she said. "I can't stay that long...Jenna's waiting. But...I thought I'd come over and re introduce myself. I'm Elena," she reached out her hand to shake his and with a sad smile he shook her hand.

"I'm Stefan," he answered her with a soft laugh.

"Even though it's hard for me going through this," she continued. "I'm going to try really hard Stefan. Because I know it must be hard for you too, you've lost a girlfriend...someone you love and I can't imagine how that feels because I can't remember ever..." she stopped, not wanting to hurt him.

"Ever loving me," he finished for her. "I understand Elena. No one's rushing you here. I'm just glad you came to see me."

Damon faded into the background. A part of him was laughing at his brother, the part who still hated him and always would. In the old days he would have openly laughed out loud. But now he listened to the part who was getting on with Stefan for Elena's sake, and he found the whole situation very, very sad.

He wondered a lot of things in that moment. Would they all ever get back what they had with this girl who had changed so many of their lives? Would she ever get even one tiny memory back or would she be a completely different person?

As long as she was alive, he guessed that was all that mattered. He was sure it would all be ok in the end...as long as they managed to get through the whole Klaus situation alive everything would be fine. That wasn't too much to ask for was it?

TBC

Please leave me some reviews as lots of birthday presents for tomorrow lol...


	3. Chapter 3

I'm so, so sorry about the long wait. Here's the next chapter for anyone still reading, hope you enjoy.

Chapter Three

Elena had finally been aloud out of the house to see her friends, Bonnie Bennett and Caroline Forbes. They were having a girly evening and having a moment of Elena, this is your life. She had been watching some of her favourite movies and TV shows, and looking at a list of her apparent favourite books. Bonnie had gotten a photo album from somewhere and they had been flipping through it, her and Caroline laughing at all the memories. At this point Elena had felt a little bit left out because she felt so disconnected.

She knew these girls were great friends. She could instantly tell they were loyal to her in every way possible, that they were like family. She could tell they had always been there for her and that they always would be there for her. But could she always be there for them? Although they told her all about them it was like she was reading a book. While she could pretend she was in the book and it could seem so life like it was almost real...if the writing was good that is, she was an outsider looking in. While this was the first hand experience she wanted...asking the questions instead of the truth always being hidden, she needed something more. She needed to know for herself, but how was that even possible?

She was being silly! Anything was possible. Her best friends were a vampire and a witch! She was surprised that she hadn't thought of this before. Science and modern medicine, they couldn't bring her memories back. But maybe magic could? There was always the question of maybe every spell had a consequence. It could make Bonnie weaker and they needed all the strength they could get to help fight against Klaus. Then there was the fact that could she rely on the memories the spell dug up from the hidden depths of her brain? Could they be only what she wanted to see? Would anything be dangerous and affect her even more?

But there was no doubt in her mind that she had to do this. The only problem was getting the courage to ask Bonnie t do this for her. She had a feeling that her friends had already done so much for her. She also had a feeling that Aunt Jenna wouldn't approve of this method of getting her memories back at all.

She needed someone who would agree with her. She needed someone who wouldn't make her back out of this decision and who wouldn't doubt her.

Stefan? She was supposed to be in love with him. But she had a feeling that he would disagree with her on this as well. He would support her eventually of course. He wouldn't mean to doubt her and he would try to show her he agreed with her. But she would see the hesitation in his eyes as he looked away from her...and that she didn't need!

She needed to go see him right away. She got a feeling that her friends didn't agree with her having anything to do with Damon Salvatore but she didn't care. Just because she had lost her memories didn't mean that she couldn't make her own decisions. She hated the fact that everyone was treading on eggshells around her and she got the feeling that Damon wouldn't be like that with her. She hadn't had the chance to see much of him and she somehow felt a bit guilty, because even if they sometimes didn't get on well with each other, they were in each other's lives and she should have made the time even though she was dealing with so much. She had tried to defend herself against Jenna for seeing her other friends, why not Damon.

When she said that was where she was going Bonnie instantly got a disapproving look in her eyes, and Caroline started to frown a little. But they both looked at each other and then Caroline shrugged. "We never were any good at getting you to change your mind once you made it up," she said lightly. "We just hope you know what you're doing."

"Yes," said Bonnie coldly. "Shouldn't you be seeing Stefan?"

"I have to ask Damon something that I get the feeling Stefan wouldn't approve of," she finally confessed. "And I'm not ready to ask you guys after you've already done so much for me. I will do as soon as I get a second opinion."

"You can't trust Damon," Bonnie said instantly. "You can ask me anything Elena we are your best friends. I don't understand why you can't just ask us I'm sorry."

Elena sighed. "Ok. But I warned you. And I do still want to see Damon. I get he has done something terrible to you both that you are not telling me about that makes you resent him. But at the moment we need all the allies we can get right? So I should see him eventually. And eventually you will tell me everything without worrying that it might hurt me! I wanted you to do a spell Bonnie, if it's even possible."

"Something like hypnosis with magic right?" she asked quietly. "To help you remember?"

"Not just to remember. Too help me live everything again. I know there will be consequences but I need to do this."

"I will look into it Elena, I promise."

Elena nodded in satisfaction and stood up. "You don't know how much this all means to me. How much you mean to me even if I don't truly know you I can feel the connection we all have. That sounds so...cheesy but I mean it. I know there are things in everyone's past that I'm going to find out I don't like...I know that Damon has done things to us all because I read it in my diary. What he did to Jeremy all those people that he killed. But I just need to see him I hope you can understand."

Caroline rolled her eyes. "There's a connection between you and Damon Elena, you've just been too stubborn to admit it. And we were kind of hoping that it would go away but it hasn't, even when you've lost your memories."

Elena's eyes widened in surprise. "We do?"

Bonnie nodded. "But you just have to be careful when you play with fire Elena."

"And you've always liked to play with fire," Caroline added. "That's why you were drawn to Stefan. It's just that Damon is just that much hotter a fire then Stefan is...we can all admit that. It doesn't mean he is better for you."

Elena somehow found herself wanting to defend him. "But maybe there's a side that we just haven't seen that much of him. I'm not defending the things he has done but maybe he has changed."

"I'm sorry but I will never be a friend of Damon Salvatore," Bonnie said heatedly. "Or Stefan for that matter. It's just the way things are. Caroline knows I have a hard time with her being a vampire there is just too much resentment between me and those brother's and I will never truly approve of you being with either of them. But I am your friend and I do want to see you happy. So you should do whatever makes you happy."

Elena felt sad at this conversation, but she nodded and thanked her friend. There was so much she felt she had missed out on...even though she had been there through all of it, she didn't really understand it. But she was glad that Bonnie had told her these things after all instead of keeping them inside.

...

Elena felt strangely terrified as she drove to the Salvatore's home. She had no idea why, but she felt as if someone had been watching her the entire time. From the moment that she left her friend's house to getting out of the car now and it was creeping her out.

"Well, well. If it isn't Elena Gilbert," the voice was soft and cold and male. Someone she didn't recognise at all and someone she wasn't sure she should be talking to in the shadows...even if Damon and Stefan were only a scream away.

"Who...who are you?" she whispered to him, her voice shaking with fear. She hated the fact that she was so weak. You'd think that someone who hung around with vampires and witches would be stronger than this...this was why she needed to find out if that damn spell was possible!

He smiled. "I'm Elijah, Elena. Don't worry...I know all about your special situation. It's very amusing, really. But we had a deal and you said I could trust you. I have been patient waiting for this to all play out but even my patience is running thin. It is time for you to start working with me again, Elena."

She flinched as he moved towards her. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you little one. I'm just here to remind you that I'm around. After you've done this little spell with Bonnie, and now matter how much you need Damon's opinion you will do this no matter what anyone thinks, things will pick up where they left off. You know that Klaus is still out there in the dark, waiting for you."

"if you're trying to scare me..." she started.

"I'm warning you."

Then he was gone in a blur of movement, using vampire speed. She remembered reading about Elijah in her diary. She had brought him back to life and they had been working together to get more information about Klaus. Stefan and Damon had been less then happy with her when they discovered this and then Jenna had found out about everything and then she had gotten into her accident.

This conversation left her confused and scared. She needed someone then, someone to take care of her and love her, someone to give her a big hug.

When Damon opened the door to see Elena visibly shaken and nearly in tears he forgot completely about his earlier thoughts to leave her and Stefan to it and that they could just have each other. He wanted nothing more than to protect her at that moment. To be fair he had had many thoughts that evening, ones ranging from hating both Elena and Stefan, to loving them both, to wanting to rush to Elena's side, take advantage of her and make her his before any of them could blink, to just sitting back and doing nothing. he had been thinking about those words he had said to her again, I will always choose you. The last good words he had said to her before everything went bad like it always did for him. He had been looking for a disctraction but this wasn't what he had had in mind!

"Damon...I need your help."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"So you found out about Elijah?" he asked her softly, trying to sound comforting but he wasn't sure he was pulling it off very well.

She nodded. He had offered her a cup of tea to calm her nerves. Surprising that tea would be in a home for vampires, but now he had human...he was still not sure if any of them could be called friends...he had to have supplies ready for all occasions. "You know, we have that situation completely under control."

"Like the Klaus situation? Where's Stefan?" she whispered.

He rolled his eyes. Of course, his wonderful brother. It was always about him. "He's out hunting."

She sighed at his tone of voice. "That's good. Because I had an idea and I need to know what you thought about it. Just so you know I'm going to go through with it anyway. But I get the feeling that before I lost my memories, I value your opinion even if I don't admit it." She began to explain her idea to him very formally, making sure she gave him no reason to interrupt her.

"If Stefan were here he would be telling me this is madness or that I'm not thinking about my safety or some other chivalry that he comes out with. But I don't need that right now. What I need I have a feeling I'll get from you. You are reckless and do what you think consequences be damned. Right?"

He hesitated. He actually hesitated. "Elena...I'm just making progress with Stefan. With everyone. Especially with you. If I do this it will make him hate me even more and we can't let that happen. Because of Klaus."

"Please Damon," she looked at him with wide eyes. "Please don't make me doubt myself."

"That's the last thing I want to do," he reached out placing a hand on her shoulder. "If you feel you have to do this then that's your choice. No one should be able to say otherwise. So we're doing this."

She smiled. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear. We both know that things could go wrong. And if I were myself again and this was happening to Bonnie or Caroline I would probably be like Stefan would be with me."

But you wouldn't be sitting here with me talking about it, he thought to himself with a little satisfaction

She stood up abruptly. "We have to do this now. Tonight, before I change my mind. Ok? We'll leave a note for Stefan to let him know and if he tries to stop whatever ceremony Bonnie has to do, then you have to stop him for me."

Damon nodded. "Then let's go."

...

"I thought you wouldn't be coming back tonight. It's getting late," Bonnie complained. She and Caroline had just started to drop off to sleep.

"I know. And I'm sorry, but we have to do this now. I have to get my memories back before Elijah starts getting more impatient and Klaus does god knows what. I feel vulnerable and weak and it's not a good look for me."

Bonnie glanced warily at Damon. "What about him?"

"He's to stop Stefan doing anything stupid once he finds out about this...which he will try to. Bonnie...do you know what you have to do?"

"Yes." She was no longer best friend Bonnie, but witch Bonnie. She went about organising crystals in the right positions and as Elena sat amongst the crystals she lit some incense, the soft smoke floating in front of Elena's eyes. The light of candles, different smells and Bonnie's magical chanting was starting to make her feel very sleepy. It was like what she imagined being hypnotised would feel like.

"Elena? Elena?" Damon asked worriedly.

"its done," Bonnie answered him. "She's gone. Its like...her brain is trying to fix itself. I'm not a doctor or expert in science but I am starting to be an expert in magic. She's fining the truth out all over again, living her life all over again. She could wake up in a few minutes but for Elena it will feel like a whole lot longer. She said she remembered her child hood memories but the ones of the years just before the accident, meeting Stefan and you and finding out about the supernatural...she will be living that all over again."

"Poor Elena," Caroline murmured. "If I had to live through the last two years I think I'd pass thanks."

...

_Elena was flicking in and out of different memories, her mind a sudden blur of information. It was almost threatening to overload on her and god knew what would have happened then. Maybe she would have gone into a coma for the rest of her life. Stefan's feelings for her overwhelmed her so much more then she thought she could take...but Damon;s feelings for her astounded her. She had no idea. She had thought him on occasion to be a monster. And in some ways he still was. He would always be dangerous, treading on a thin line between good and evil. But she knew that he would always be there for her. _

_She saw them dancing together. She saw him making her laugh. More and more, moments with him began to ground her, more so then moments with Stefan and this confused her terribly. Especially when a certain memory surfaced that made her gasp in shock. He was confessing his love for her and then he had made her forget. But she knew this spell would make her remember it._

...

And it would change things forever. As she opened her eyes, she saw both Stefan and Damon standing there now, watching her and waiting for a response.

"How long?" she asked, feeling light headed.

"About half an hour," Bonnie answered.

"Half an hour too long," Damon said darkly.

Elena didn't know what to do now. Maybe she should just pretend that the spell hadn't worked at all. That she still had no memories. But they would all be able to tell straight away that she was lying. The spell changed everything now. She loved Stefan, she always would. But she also cared about Damon and his secret love confession confirmed to her there was something special about him. He had tried to kill her friends and family, but now he was trying to make up for it. She didn't want to hurt either one of them but she also didn't want to end up being like Katherine. She had a tough choice to make and it was worse than anything Klaus could throw at her.

She had no clue how she was going to get through this at all.

TBC

Reviews please, I love reviews. Hope you liked it


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

A few days later after the spell and Elena felt she couldn't concentrate on anything. She should be celebrating because she knew who she was again. But only two words were swirling round and round her brain. Damon and Stefan and Stefan and Damon.

It should be a simple enough question. She was in love with Stefan Salvatore, right? After everything they had been through together, she now knew how much he meant to her and she had such sweet moments to fall back on with him. It didn't seem right that she just drop him. She wasn't that much of a bitch. She did things to get what she wanted, but she couldn't do that. And besides, what did she want? Oh, back to that again. Well, the feelings she had with Damon were new, and even if she admitted to herself, a little bit exiting. She knew he had done evil things, that he was bad. Bad, bad, very bad.

Stefan was bad too. Stefan was capable of and anger and darkness and he never let her get a glimpse of that. She had seen what he was capable though, once he had tasted human blood. He was just as capable of being a monster. She knew what she had with Stefan. It was sweet and tender; he would look after her always, and die to protect her.

Damon would die to protect her too. She was sure of that. When she had no memories and wanted to do the spell, it was Damon she had run too. Did Stefan protect her too much? She wanted to be able to fend for herself, learn to fight her own battles and she had a feeling Damon would let her do that. Would he satisfy her other needs as well? She had never slept with the darker brother, but she had with Stefan. Stefan satisfied her, she certainly would never say no to him. But what would Damon be like? Dangerous and rough with her, but with a softer side to him sometimes, rarely seen. It was very interesting to think about, even when she shouldn't be thinking of him that way. He was Stefan's brother.

What was wrong with her having both of them? Oh right, she didn't believe in that and she wasn't Katherine.

That night she had a dream. She was standing in front of a mirror in a white dress, it was dark all around her, and she couldn't tell where she was. Her own room, the boarding house, she couldn't tell. Her heart beat quickened as she sensed someone behind her, Stefan, of course. She felt his arms circling her and closed her eyes, her breath deepening, and her pulse racing. She felt his fingers exploring her body and felt his lips on her skin, making her shiver. He was teasing her more than he ever had before, taking his time. "Please," she murmured. "Please, please."

Opening her eyes she looked into the glass, her cheeks flushing with excitement. Damon's face smiled back at her making her gasp. She turned round in an instant, pressing herself as close to him as she could. "Please," she kept murmuring, although she didn't know what she was begging for. "Hush, little kitten," he answered her, running his fingers through her hair. "All in good time. You don't want him, you know. You want me."

"Damon, Please."

"Tell me you want me."

"I want..." he cut her off with a fierce kiss before she could finish, and she woke up gasping for breath, feeling hot and sweaty, she had kicked off her bed covers.

Where had that come from? She was feeling frustrated now and new that sleep would be long in returning. This was an impossible choice, just impossible!

The next day she called an emergency meeting with Bonnie and Caroline. Elena had to talk to someone otherwise she would literally explode. "You had a what dream?" asked Bonnie in astonishment.

Elena sighed; she didn't want to say it again. She had left out the details of course, but they got the idea. They were her best friends. "Basically a sex dream," Caroline laughed. "A very naughty one probably. You did say it was about both brothers' right? How could there not be any sex!"

Groaning, she hit Caroline on the arm playfully. "There wasn't actually any sex," she started, until Bonnie cut in, a little harshly.

"I can't believe we're having this conversation, with everything that's happened, Elena."

"I know, Bonnie. But like I've said before, you guys are like my family and if I can't trust you who can I trust? "

It was Bonnie's turn to sigh. "Well, it's a little out of the blue, that's all. I mean, you're with Stefan. Not that I agree with you being with vampires."

"Oh, not that again, Bonnie," Caroline told her sharply. "We know you lost your grandmother because of Damon and Stefan but we have to make our Elena happy. She deserves it, don't you think? And I don't think it's out of the blue. You can feel the chemistry whenever they're in a room together."

"You can?" Elena asked with eyebrows raised, but suddenly she found herself agreeing with Caroline. "But Stefan,"

"Look," Bonnie cut her off, mid sentence. "Someone is going to get hurt and you might as well get it over with."

"It's not that easy, Bonnie. You've never been in love like this before."

There was a silence. "No, I haven't. I'd prefer you didn't mention that again though, ok?"

"I'm so sorry Bonnie. I just meant,"

"No, forget about it."

After a heartbeat, Elena looked at her friends. "We're not arguing again are we?"

"No way," Caroline smiled brightly. "We never argue. In the end Elena, she's right. We can't help you, you have to choose."

She practised the words over and over on her way over to Stefan's house. Over and over and over. "We need a break. I know it's sudden and I know you will hate me, I know we've been on breaks before. But I need this. I just need some time to figure things out. During the spell I've discovered a memory I never knew I had. It should make me hate Damon, it should. He manipulated me and...but I don't I hate him. I care about him. I couldn't bare it if you hated me Stefan but if I don't find out how I feel about this it will drive me crazy. It doesn't matter, I know you'll hate me forever and maybe I deserve it."

She found herself outside his front door, hand raised to knock and she felt frozen. She couldn't bring herself to do this. How could she do this? "Stefan, I will always love you, but I care for your brother. I don't know what this thing is yet. It's too new to be love. But it's something I can't deny any longer. Please forgive me?"

How crazy and ridiculous did that sound? She turned to run, run anywhere as long as it wasn't here. She couldn't face this. Denial was a bliss she preferred.

But then the door opened. Just like in her dream it wasn't who she expected to see

TBC

Kind of a filler chapter, I know. And let me know if you want more Damon/Elena sexy fun. Well, of course you do. But I'm not any good at writing that stuff really, or I've never tried to write it before! And then for what I have in mind I might have to change the rating lol. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own anything, just having some fun.

Chapter six

I smile shakily at Damon as he opens the door. Why can't anything be simple anymore? All I want is to be able to see Stefan. Once I see him I can make a decision, I'm sure that everything will become clear and I'll know what it is that I have to do. Although with Damon around it's always so confusing, he clouds my judgement.

"Is Stefan around?" I ask, trying to sound normal, like nothing is the matter. Damon looks at me for a moment and I swear he knows everything that I'm thinking just by looking in my eyes. I think of the dream I had recently and feel myself blushing under his intense gaze. He nods, and gestures with his hand for me to come in.

"Luckily for you I'm heading out," he tells me. "I'm sure you want to be alone. Because you have your memories back and everything."

"Right," I try to sound happy about this and hope that I pull it off. How can I let Damon know that I know his secret? And, how am I supposed to be reacting to this news anyway? Maybe I should be angry at him. He stole a memory from me that is my right to know about. But most of me is glad about this confession. It means that Damon isn't as evil as he makes out to be, he has good inside him. He cares about me. And I shouldn't lie to myself, the thought that I have made him feel this way, and that he could look at me in that way, gives me a tingling feeling of excitement. It's something I can't ignore, but I have to make my mind up first about what I'm going to do. And I think that I need some time by myself for a while, away from the two brothers. Obviously we will have to deal with this Klaus issue, but I want to try a hand at being single, so I can get my head clear again. And at least give it a little time before deciding what to do about Damon, so that Stefan doesn't think that I never cared about him.

Oh, it's giving me a headache all of this. There is just so much history and I don't want anyone to get hurt, but they're going to either way. So single Elena it is. If I'm not even sure I'm in love with someone anymore, I shouldn't be with them right? Even though he has done so much for me and looked out for me?

I try to ignore the hurt look in Damon's eyes, a look that flickers into existence and then flickers out again in less than a second and walk further into the house.

When I find Stefan the words stick in my throat and I feel slightly dizzy. "What's wrong Elena?" he asks instantly and I feel like crying. "Stefan, I'm so sorry," I murmur. "There's no easy way to say this. We need a break."

I see the hurt in his eyes, how can I have hurt two people in the space of a few minutes? See him become colder and more closed off to the world, put his barriers back up almost instantly.

"A break? All of a sudden out of the blue? Do we really have to go there again, and what brought this on?"

Maybe I have to be truthful with Stefan, I think. Doesn't he have a right to know things just as much as I do?

"I know it is bad timing, with everything going on at the moment," I tell him, trying to be strong. "But...it's not that I don't care about you, or appreciate everything that you're doing for me. And, a part of me will always love you Stefan. Well, this isn't a break. I need some time by myself to figure things out. "

"Figure what out, Elena?"

"How I feel about you...and Damon," I look away from him as I say this; at least it's said now though.

"Oh," he replies softly. "You and Damon."

"I swear to you Stefan that nothing has ever happened between him and me while we have been together. But that spell we cast to get my memories back, it released a memory that had been hidden from me. Damon compelled me to forget it. He said that he was in love with me and that I didn't deserve him but that you did and it was the most selfish thing he had ever said. That proves that he has good in him."

"And this has suddenly gotten you to change your mind about everything? Really?" He has a bitter edge in his voice now. "Even knowing what Damon has done, what he is capable of doing, the people he has hurt and killed, this changes everything and you're in love with him?"

I shake my head fiercely. "No, it's not like that. I'm not in love with him. But we do have a connection and I thought you deserve to know this."

"I've always known he loved you. I still claim it's because I have something he can't have, he does it all on purpose. It's a game to him."

"He's changed; I know he wants to change more if we help him. But I don't love him. It's not like we have had some horrible affair. I'm not Katherine I would never play you off against each other. But I do care for both of you. And I need some time by myself to clear my head. I hope you can understand that and respect that."

He shakes his head at me sadly. "I'll let you have space Elena, but don't ever expect me to understand any of this. And don't expect me to wait for you. If you want to be with Damon so be it. But I tell you this...I will help you with Klaus. I'll stay until this is over and then, if you are with Damon I'm gone. It will be up to him to look out for you then."

"Stefan," but there is nothing else I can say. I hate this so much but it has to be done. I turn away from him and walk out of the room, not looking back, with tears streaming down my face.

...

_Dear diary,_

_So much has happened since Stefan and I broke up, and it's too hard to write about this still, still so fresh in my mind and so painful. First of all, Jenna has died, and so has John. Both gone, one more important to me than anything, the other a stranger still in so many ways. Klaus performed the ceremony and Jenna was turned into a vampire, but then killed anyway. Something is going on with Jeremy but I don't know what exactly and Damon and I are on the hunt for Stefan, who has disappeared with Klaus. I wish that he had just gone, just left town like he promised me all those weeks ago, instead of this. _

_Damon was near death because of a werewolf bite, but Katherine brought him some of Klaus's blood, and that was the cure somehow. I feel guilty that I kissed him and Stefan and I are not even together, but I was saying goodbye to a good friend, that's what Damon is at the moment. Some day he could be more, but not right now. Not until I know that Stefan is safe and can move on with his life and be at peace with me and Damon. Not until Klaus is gone for good. _

_None of this is getting my head clear at all, most of the time I feel like curling up in bed and hiding from everything forever, but Damon never lets me do that. "You have to eat, and see sunshine and civilization every now and then," he tells me and I groan at him and make a big fuss before eventually doing what he says. _

_Bonnie has tried every kind of locator spell going and nothing. Klaus maybe has witches working for him, blocking her spell. Maybe Stefan is being compelled into staying with Klaus and that must be the reason. I don't know how I'm supposed to cope with all of this or how I'm going to get through it, but I will try my best. After all, I am Elena Gilbert. _

I look at my diary and then slam it shut again, willing myself not to fall into despair. Things would get better, I'm sure they would. Until then I just have to take it one step at a time. Damon will make me feel better, seeing him always makes me feel better although I will never admit that. Oh god, I think to myself suddenly. School. I have to go to school and act as though everything is normal, how am I supposed to do that? One step at a time, I tell myself firmly. That's how.

And then I go downstairs, I've been staying in the boarding house a lot lately. It's too early for Jeremy and Bonnie to be here but they are. Both of them including Damon are sitting around the television. Bonnie and Jeremy have cups of tea and Damon; I decide I don't want to know. "What's going on?" I ask sleepily.

Jeremy turns to me gravely and points to the TV. "It's Stefan."

TBC

Please review and let me know what you think. It's not going to be too many chapters I hope, maybe up to ten. Damon and Elena moments coming up, promise, I am looking forward to writing them but the Elena/Stefan break up was harder to write then I thought


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"What about Stefan?" Elena looked around at them all, wishing that someone would explain things to her already.

"We know what's been going on Elena," this was from Bonnie, in a quiet, worried voice. "There have been several attacks around the country,"

"Stefan and Klaus are killing people," Damon said bluntly. They're eyes met at the same time and she could see he was telling the truth. "I don't know what they're up to, yet. But I I'll find out somehow."

Elena was in denial, shaking her head fiercely. "No. It can't be possible, it's not Stefan. I know he wouldn't do this,"

"How could you know, Elena?" Damon snapped. "How could you possibly know? You've never known him when he was truly dark. You've had a little taste of it every now and then, but nowhere near knowing what he is truly capable of. And you had no memory for a few months,"

"That has nothing to do with this, Salvatore," she snapped back at him harshly. "I got all of my memories back you know. I know every emotion I ever felt for everyone and I know that Stefan must be being compelled into doing these things."

Damon stared at her. "What do you mean all of your memories?"

She didn't answer him.

"We need to get where they are and get there fast. On the TV it said they were in Chicago?"

"There may be a way that I can help with the getting there fast issue," Bonnie spoke up urgently. "I may be able to try a teleportation spell for you. But there's no way of knowing how long it will last. I'll try and make it at least an hour."

"Wait a minute, teleportation?" Damon looked worried now. "It's not going to make us explode into a thousand pieces right? You've never tired that before."

"I managed to send Elena a message when she was kidnapped," Bonnie said defensively. "This is just the same thing ok? It'll be fine."

"But every time you use magic," Jeremy began in concern.

"It will be fine," she told him, laying a hand on his arm, gently.

"This spell won't send us directly into their hideout nor wherever they are staying will it?" Elena asked curiously.

"No, I'll send you into the local area, and then you can get a chance to get Stefan alone."

Elena nodded. "Ok, let's do this."

"Wait, now?" Damon argued. "Shouldn't we think about this?"

"I'm done with thinking about thing, Damon," she said to him firmly. "I have to know for sure if Stefan is truly against us and why. I have to know he is ok. I just do. I know we broke up but...I just have to know."

Damon sighed. "Ok, but I'm going with you."

She knew she wouldn't be able to talk him out of this so she nodded.

Bonnie had to prepare the spell and it took her a little while. Elena was dying from impatience by the time they were finally ready. Soon the spell was cast and next thing Elena knew, she and Damon were in Chicago. They had had to hold hands and she had had to find something of Stefan's to hold onto so it would draw them to him. Elena stared down at their intertwined fingers in curiosity, and it was something to ground her to reality as the world spun around her. Then she looked up and took in her surroundings. They were standing outside a bar.

"They're inside?" She asked Damon.

He nodded. "Yes. Probably celebrating their latest kill. I still think we should get out of here, Elena."

"Why, are you scared?"

"Yes, actually. Klaus is the worst of the big bad monster's out there, in case you've forgotten?"

"I really haven't. But I'm not going anywhere."

He decided it was better for both of them if he didn't argue, so he didn't. Eventually, after a long time had gone past, Stefan came out of the bar and he was alone.

"It was stupid of you both to come here," he said to them. "I can sense Elena bore strongly because of the bond we share, but he's not stupid. After I'm gone only a few minutes he knows something is wrong and comes after me."

"So you are being compelled?" Elena asked hopefully. "I told them all that had to be the reason,"

"I'm not being compelled," he said coldly. "You wanted me gone, remember? So I'm staying because I have no reason to be anywhere else."

"Stefan, please. You can't use that as an excuse," she told him. "You can't make this all my fault. What about Damon?"

In case you haven't noticed, Damon and I don't get along."

"Oh Stefan, when are you going to grow up?" Damon snapped at him. "We both know that even if you truly were evil, you wouldn't let anyone else tell you what to do. So there has to be some other reason why you're working with Klaus."

"Well, neither of you are going to find out what that is. So leave, now."

Elena refused to believe this was it. That Stefan had changed so quickly. "There's nothing between us anymore Elena," Stefan told her as Damon dragged her away. "That was your choice and you have to live with it now."

"Are you ok?" Damon asked her.

"No, I don't think I'll ever be ok again Damon. This is all my fault. Are people dying because of me?"

"You can't ever let yourself think that. People are dying because of Klaus. This is all to do with him Elena."

She nodded. "So you believe me?"

"I believe Stefan isn't thinking clearly. If he's being compelled or not I don't know."

"We're not going to give up on him are we? I mean, we're going to bring him home right?"

He looked at her sadly. "Stefan thinks he doesn't have a home anymore, 'Lena. It's going to take a lot to save him. But I will try."

"Because he is your brother?"

"Because you asked me to."

She looked away and wished that they could just go home already. She didn't want to be in a place where she wasn't needed. Suddenly, as if just thinking it made it happen, they were back home in Mystic falls.

Bonnie and Jeremy were looking at them anxiously. "Well?" Jeremy asked.

"Stefan's left us," Elena told them. "We're going to try and help him but it's going to be hard. Are you guys up for it?"

Bonnie looked unsure, but then she nodded and Jeremy just said "yes."

When she and Damon were alone she finally decided to tell him that she knew. "Damon, thank you for letting me do this today. It meant a lot that you didn't try and shelter me and that you agreed with me and worked with me. I won't ever forget it," he nodded, just continued letting her talk. "Damon, I know. When I got my memories back...I remember that you told me you loved me." She took his hand in hers before he could walk away from her. "I've always known how you felt about me. And you've made it hard for me to care about you at times, but I do. I'll always care about you Damon. And maybe I do even...maybe it is love, what we have between us. It's a connection, definitely."

"But it's too soon, isn't it?" he asked, hardly daring to believe this was happening. "You know I'll wait for you Elena."

And she finally smiled.

TBC

Maybe two more chapters to go on this one! Please let me know what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

It was hard getting used to Stefan not being around. Even though they had broken apart, she still missed him. But Damon was still here with her, protecting her yet allowing her to have fun at the same time. And she didn't try to change him either, she knew what he was. That he could be dangerous. She knew that he needed blood to stay strong, especially human blood and she didn't ask where he got it from. She knew he mostly got it from hospitals or from animals and sometimes he might slip and kill a homeless person and this thought did disturb her a lot. Just because no one knew who the person was didn't make it any more right. But she didn't press him about it. She knew that he was trying and that was all she could ask of him. At least it was no longer people she knew!

She wasn't sure what was going on with Jeremy either at the moment, acting strange and secretive. Bonnie didn't know anything about it either. But at least she could remember who everyone was, and she finally knew who she was and where she belonged. It had taken a long time in happening, but she finally went on her first date with Damon Salvatore. She knew she probably hadn't given it enough time, but thoughts of Stefan were the furthest thing from her mind and she knew that Damon knew it. He had truly spoiled her, to take her mind off the whole Klaus situation. He even let her choose her own outfit and brought it for her especially and then they had gone to a very expensive restaurant and she had been able to order whatever she wanted. It had been a while since she'd actually had any fun. Then they had gone dancing, and she was surprised at just how well Damon could dance. After that he had walked her home and they had shared their first kiss. It had all been so perfect and she didn't know why she hadn't made the choice earlier, why she had been so stubborn.

It was their one month anniversary and she knew she shouldn't be all that bothered by just a month. It was when it got too years it was supposed to be a big deal. But every moment with Damon was special to her and she wanted to make it count, because who knew what Klaus was up to or she could get into another accident and this time not only lose her memories. If it was one thing she had learned it was that life was precious and you shouldn't waste it. She lay beside him now, curled up in his arms. He knew she wasn't asleep and she knew he wasn't, but they lay there anyway in companionable silence. Finally she looked up at him. "I can't sleep," she whispered softly. He held her tighter in his arms.

"I'm sure I can think of many, many ways to make you sleepy 'Lena," he murmured back to her.

"I'm sure you can," she said teasingly. "Would one of those ways be going downstairs and making me a drink and getting me some of those chocolate chip cookies that I love?"

She sat up and looked at him hopefully, batting her eyelashes and giving him her cutest, you can't resist me look.

"That's not going to work," he laughed. "Am I your slave? I think not. You're going to have to give me something in return for cookies!"

She smiled teasingly and wrapped her arms around him, giving him a sudden kiss that took him by surprise. "I wonder what I could give you?"

"You know what I want." He was suddenly serious and she felt a little bit nervous. Was she really going to do this? It had been a whole month and she thought he was being pretty reasonable waiting all that time and she couldn't make him wait any longer. Time for fun and getting used to each other and dating had ended and now it was time for another kind of fun. She searched inside herself for answers and realised she was definitely ready now.

"I know," she said back. "And I'm finally ready. But after, then I get cookies?"

Damon had never felt this way in his entire life before, alive or dead and he was so glad that he was with this wonderful human being that he would have agreed to anything she asked of him in that moment. "Then you get cookies."

Elena knew there was still so many, many things left to sort out and that after this night things would never be the same again, but she just wanted to live in the moment and enjoy her life if she could. And that was exactly what she was going to do. The past was the past, the future would be the future, but right now was all that mattered and she was going to make it worth the wait.

The End.

I know, very short ending. But I didn't want to drag it out too much longer and I hope you've all enjoyed reading this. I have many other Damon and Elena story ideas in my head lol and want to complete all these stories as quick as possible. I think it all wrapped up nicely anyway, I really hope you liked it and please review to let me know what you think.


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